Hello all...been a while. Sorry I haven't written, I've been busy planning a wedding, which, is far more horrifying than blood, guts or shit. Maybe not as bad as the lamb being eaten alive by maggots this summer, but a close second.
Here's the thing about weddings, they look very glamorous in the commercials and bridal magazines but they make no mention of the "bride meltdown" that happens one month prior to your nuptials. They also make no mention of the fact that your dj will be a complete douche and hardly communicate with you when it's far too late to try to find another one, so you take it in the shorts and put up with his dumb ass.
Nor do they mention how many tiny details are involved such as how many God damned floating candles you need to buy or tracking down enough MATCHING vases is near impossible.
How about the ignorant folks that work at David's Bridal that can't get the right size for your flower girl's dresses? Then you have to send them back and order them online yourself and have it sail very smoothly, and you should have just done it yourself to begin with. Or the fit they pitch when you want non traditional alterations. And speaking of alterations, be prepared to pay your life savings to have a hem thrown in.
There are perks. You will find your friends and family and wonderful and plan beautiful showers for you and the generosity of fabulous gifts you probably don't deserve, but appreciate them more than you can express.
Today is "protect kitchen". I'm cleaning every shelf, drawer and cranny to make room for the amazing gifts and upcoming kitchen goodies. One will find they are constantly surprised by the amount of shit two people can accumulate. I found an onion bloom maker tucked away in a cupboard. I didn't even know we owned such a useless item. We aren't even sure where it came from. My only guess is the last bride that did this, snuck it in to my house to be rid of it. I don't even like blooming onions. I wish she had left a food processor or kitchenaid mixer. Actually, thanks to my soon-to-be-mother-in-law, that mixer is covered now, bless her heart!
In conclusion, I can not wait to get married and continue to spend my life with the man I love and my best friend, but planning a wedding is the worst part about getting married.
