It's late and I'm tired but the upcoming blogs are going to have some foul language but offer the truth about the ups, downs and horrors of pregnany as I experience them. Stay tuned....
Jayme
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
The fucking truth
Monday, November 11, 2013
Nightmare on upcoming-bride street
Hello all...been a while. Sorry I haven't written, I've been busy planning a wedding, which, is far more horrifying than blood, guts or shit. Maybe not as bad as the lamb being eaten alive by maggots this summer, but a close second.
Here's the thing about weddings, they look very glamorous in the commercials and bridal magazines but they make no mention of the "bride meltdown" that happens one month prior to your nuptials. They also make no mention of the fact that your dj will be a complete douche and hardly communicate with you when it's far too late to try to find another one, so you take it in the shorts and put up with his dumb ass.
Nor do they mention how many tiny details are involved such as how many God damned floating candles you need to buy or tracking down enough MATCHING vases is near impossible.
How about the ignorant folks that work at David's Bridal that can't get the right size for your flower girl's dresses? Then you have to send them back and order them online yourself and have it sail very smoothly, and you should have just done it yourself to begin with. Or the fit they pitch when you want non traditional alterations. And speaking of alterations, be prepared to pay your life savings to have a hem thrown in.
There are perks. You will find your friends and family and wonderful and plan beautiful showers for you and the generosity of fabulous gifts you probably don't deserve, but appreciate them more than you can express.
Today is "protect kitchen". I'm cleaning every shelf, drawer and cranny to make room for the amazing gifts and upcoming kitchen goodies. One will find they are constantly surprised by the amount of shit two people can accumulate. I found an onion bloom maker tucked away in a cupboard. I didn't even know we owned such a useless item. We aren't even sure where it came from. My only guess is the last bride that did this, snuck it in to my house to be rid of it. I don't even like blooming onions. I wish she had left a food processor or kitchenaid mixer. Actually, thanks to my soon-to-be-mother-in-law, that mixer is covered now, bless her heart!
In conclusion, I can not wait to get married and continue to spend my life with the man I love and my best friend, but planning a wedding is the worst part about getting married.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Turns out...not so great at blogging
Woah you guys...wtf where have I been?
Working in town sucks- I feel like I never have time to write anymore.
Well, lambing didn't suck nearly as much as I thought it would because evidently the sheep felt like being alive this year.
Here's a fun story- I got a new guard dog...puppy...who lives in the yard.
Jesus Christ what do I do to screw my dogs up so badly. I mean, I had him messed up by age 8 weeks. Anyway, I'm not getting anymore guard dogs. His name is Mayhem...it really fits, especially since that little asshole dug up all my lettuce last night. In the words of my sister "I guess I will just have to go buy lettuce like everyone else."
The wedding is getting closer so I have been busy with that- we got the rodeo tickets purchased so that's pretty AWESOME. Can't wait!
I really am feeling very uninspired today so, I will try to come up with something clever in the next couple of days.
Cheers
Working in town sucks- I feel like I never have time to write anymore.
Well, lambing didn't suck nearly as much as I thought it would because evidently the sheep felt like being alive this year.
Here's a fun story- I got a new guard dog...puppy...who lives in the yard.
Jesus Christ what do I do to screw my dogs up so badly. I mean, I had him messed up by age 8 weeks. Anyway, I'm not getting anymore guard dogs. His name is Mayhem...it really fits, especially since that little asshole dug up all my lettuce last night. In the words of my sister "I guess I will just have to go buy lettuce like everyone else."
The wedding is getting closer so I have been busy with that- we got the rodeo tickets purchased so that's pretty AWESOME. Can't wait!
I really am feeling very uninspired today so, I will try to come up with something clever in the next couple of days.
Cheers
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Better Lawns and Gardens
Hello readers, or as Julie Powell would call you: "bleaders"
I haven't had any craziness happening lately, if you discredit the bought of e-coli I was battling. (see first blog entry for that to be funny.) So for real, don't accidentally get cow poo in your face, because yeah- e-coli. Anyway, it is a nasty business but here we are...no worse for the wear. It would have been nice if I had lost some fucking weight while glued to the toilet, but no. So I am still chubby.
Calves and Jersey's are doing very well. Snooki's baby who is still nameless, but I am leaning toward Charley....or Satan. She is a bit of a spit-fire and near impossible to get into a barn, once let out, so that's always worth a laugh because I am fat and slow and she runs like the damn wind. "Twinny" is fat and happy and ROUND and Moose is a snob...still.
Yesterday I did try to lead my milk cow with a halter...she isn't halter broke so that was a chore, but I didn't get run over or anything so it wasn't that eventful, but two years ago I did get plowed so at least that's something for you.
Lambing is on its way and will be here in about 20 days and that's when the real "fun" begins because sheep are infuriating. Usually they are crap at feeding their lambs and sometimes burn their wool under the heat lamps. Also look for stories about "granny sheep."
We finally got a little bit of moisture so thank goodness for that because I was not looking forward to selling every animal on the place. However, raising rocks would be a lot easier and probably more satisfying. If the sun comes out and shines away my dead yard might have a chance.
I am not much of a lawn nurturer. Last year my two, $6 Wal-Mart sprinklers had a hard time keeping up with the drought and my lawn didn't even needed mowed, so I figure that's a bad sign. I threw out some grass seed early this year, and if the stupid birds didn't eat it all- it might stand a small chance of growing in the dirt that is my lawn. I don't like mowing my lawn either, even with a rider mower because my dog chases the tracks and it's hard maneuvering around obstacles and not to leave bits of Alice in the yard too, she's fast and I never know where the hell she is...I usually just hope not under the mower. Plus it's hot, and if it is not a perfect 74.3 degrees...I am not happy. Also if I have to wear real clothes instead of yoga pants, I'm not very happy then either.
I also hate gardens. This is mainly due to the fact that the year I decided to grow one, I put up a major fence and tilled the dirt and fertilized and stuck steaks in the ground with strings tied to either end to plant perfectly straight rows of veggies, and it hailed and smoked my garden so I got pissed at nature and decided to sign up for bountiful baskets instead.
Sorry this post is boring and filled with useless crap about nothing but nothing spectacular has been happening...I just didn't want anyone to think I'd died or something.
I haven't had any craziness happening lately, if you discredit the bought of e-coli I was battling. (see first blog entry for that to be funny.) So for real, don't accidentally get cow poo in your face, because yeah- e-coli. Anyway, it is a nasty business but here we are...no worse for the wear. It would have been nice if I had lost some fucking weight while glued to the toilet, but no. So I am still chubby.
Calves and Jersey's are doing very well. Snooki's baby who is still nameless, but I am leaning toward Charley....or Satan. She is a bit of a spit-fire and near impossible to get into a barn, once let out, so that's always worth a laugh because I am fat and slow and she runs like the damn wind. "Twinny" is fat and happy and ROUND and Moose is a snob...still.
Yesterday I did try to lead my milk cow with a halter...she isn't halter broke so that was a chore, but I didn't get run over or anything so it wasn't that eventful, but two years ago I did get plowed so at least that's something for you.
Lambing is on its way and will be here in about 20 days and that's when the real "fun" begins because sheep are infuriating. Usually they are crap at feeding their lambs and sometimes burn their wool under the heat lamps. Also look for stories about "granny sheep."
We finally got a little bit of moisture so thank goodness for that because I was not looking forward to selling every animal on the place. However, raising rocks would be a lot easier and probably more satisfying. If the sun comes out and shines away my dead yard might have a chance.
I am not much of a lawn nurturer. Last year my two, $6 Wal-Mart sprinklers had a hard time keeping up with the drought and my lawn didn't even needed mowed, so I figure that's a bad sign. I threw out some grass seed early this year, and if the stupid birds didn't eat it all- it might stand a small chance of growing in the dirt that is my lawn. I don't like mowing my lawn either, even with a rider mower because my dog chases the tracks and it's hard maneuvering around obstacles and not to leave bits of Alice in the yard too, she's fast and I never know where the hell she is...I usually just hope not under the mower. Plus it's hot, and if it is not a perfect 74.3 degrees...I am not happy. Also if I have to wear real clothes instead of yoga pants, I'm not very happy then either.
I also hate gardens. This is mainly due to the fact that the year I decided to grow one, I put up a major fence and tilled the dirt and fertilized and stuck steaks in the ground with strings tied to either end to plant perfectly straight rows of veggies, and it hailed and smoked my garden so I got pissed at nature and decided to sign up for bountiful baskets instead.
Sorry this post is boring and filled with useless crap about nothing but nothing spectacular has been happening...I just didn't want anyone to think I'd died or something.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Sunday, March 31, 2013
The Rewards of Patience
Sorry to report- I have no crazy stories...but don't fret, because lambing season will soon be upon us and sheep are the most frustrating animals alive.
Since I have began my blogging I have had some people ask me what I do with the milk that I spend hours a week collecting and why on earth would we have animals that are so time consuming. Here are some deets about things:
Firstly I will begin with where I began. When I decided to go back to school to get my degree in 2009 I just sort of dove right in, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, all I knew was that I wasn't happy with the jobs I was doing because of the lack of a college education. It was about 3 months in that I decided no matter what I ended up doing, I was going to have to pay for my school and by living in the small town that I do, I was going to sacrifice a great paying job with lots of perks. It was then I decided to start a small cow herd of my own to have a back up plan in case it took some time to find a job that could support my bills and my student loans. I started making some calls and putting it on facebook that I was looking for bum calves. A friend of mine, who has a large ranch with a great deal of cows gave me two. Raising bum calves (and lambs) is a lot of work and can be tremendously difficult when you have several other things going on. I was a full time student, but only held a part time job so I had the time to raise some calves. The first two calves I got, luckily, were heifer calves (female) so I knew that I was going to keep them and eventually, get calves off of them. I raised those two calves on milk replacer and put a lot of work into nutrition supplements to make sure they were healthy, this cost me some money, but I still ended up way ahead.
The next year, we got the Jerseys. These cows can raise up to 3 calves with all of the milk they produce so when we had our bum calves taken care of, I went out on the hunt for more bums. The year prior, the price of calves sky rocketed so people weren't so willing to give them away. I purched two steer calves (males) for $300 a piece and a few weeks later, a heifer calf for $235. That is a total of $835. I raised them on the Jersey cows and an old Holstein cow. When I sold the two steer calves, I got $1,000 a piece. Pretty good profit margin of $1,400. I kept the heifer and raised my herd by 1.
I later bought 2 more cows and my dad gave me one so by the end of the year I had 6 cows, and last year sold 3 calves off of the two purchased cows and the gift cow (who's name is Harry Potter). Mind you, this is not a huge herd, but I only put $825 and the cost of milk replacer and pellets into this. I have to thank Kip in huge part since I don't pay him shares or cost of hay, but I do a lot of work around here to make that work out in the end.
This year, I am on the hunt for calves, and will probably end up with some...if not, I have 6 cows that are going to calve so, the work is starting to pay off and I will reap some rewards.
As for the milk: For the first 2 days, animals produce colostrum which is VITAL to a baby's existence. Without it, they will inevitably die. The colostrum basically kick starts the stomach in lame man's terms. I milk out the colostrum and freeze it so when we have lambs or calves that need the boost, we have it at the ready. After the colostrum has run out it is just milk but is still very beneficial. The middle of the night twin I spoke of earlier got Chelsea's colostrum and then her milk until he could be put on Chelsea.
Bum lambs DIE, it is their main goal in life to die. They never do very well on milk replacer as anyone with sheep knows. They also don't do very well on straight cow milk, but they THRIVE on a half and half mixture of the two. When you are a rancher, every death is a loss, not only financially but emotionally, and not the boo-hoo cry because a baby died way, in the way that you try so hard to save things and give quality of life. All of the work with the milking twice a day pays off when all of your bum lambs are alive when you are ready to take lambs to market.
I get up at 5:30 every morning and get the cows in and milk, I then srain the milk and freeze it and wash buckets and strainers and equipment. I then shower, go to work all day, come home, change into grungy clothes and do it all again but they pay off is fantastic.
Ranching life isn't glamorous- most of the time I smell like poop and am usually covered in some form of goo. Sometimes I run on very little sleep, and miss out on things but the rewards are really like none other.
Since I have began my blogging I have had some people ask me what I do with the milk that I spend hours a week collecting and why on earth would we have animals that are so time consuming. Here are some deets about things:
Firstly I will begin with where I began. When I decided to go back to school to get my degree in 2009 I just sort of dove right in, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, all I knew was that I wasn't happy with the jobs I was doing because of the lack of a college education. It was about 3 months in that I decided no matter what I ended up doing, I was going to have to pay for my school and by living in the small town that I do, I was going to sacrifice a great paying job with lots of perks. It was then I decided to start a small cow herd of my own to have a back up plan in case it took some time to find a job that could support my bills and my student loans. I started making some calls and putting it on facebook that I was looking for bum calves. A friend of mine, who has a large ranch with a great deal of cows gave me two. Raising bum calves (and lambs) is a lot of work and can be tremendously difficult when you have several other things going on. I was a full time student, but only held a part time job so I had the time to raise some calves. The first two calves I got, luckily, were heifer calves (female) so I knew that I was going to keep them and eventually, get calves off of them. I raised those two calves on milk replacer and put a lot of work into nutrition supplements to make sure they were healthy, this cost me some money, but I still ended up way ahead.
The next year, we got the Jerseys. These cows can raise up to 3 calves with all of the milk they produce so when we had our bum calves taken care of, I went out on the hunt for more bums. The year prior, the price of calves sky rocketed so people weren't so willing to give them away. I purched two steer calves (males) for $300 a piece and a few weeks later, a heifer calf for $235. That is a total of $835. I raised them on the Jersey cows and an old Holstein cow. When I sold the two steer calves, I got $1,000 a piece. Pretty good profit margin of $1,400. I kept the heifer and raised my herd by 1.
I later bought 2 more cows and my dad gave me one so by the end of the year I had 6 cows, and last year sold 3 calves off of the two purchased cows and the gift cow (who's name is Harry Potter). Mind you, this is not a huge herd, but I only put $825 and the cost of milk replacer and pellets into this. I have to thank Kip in huge part since I don't pay him shares or cost of hay, but I do a lot of work around here to make that work out in the end.
This year, I am on the hunt for calves, and will probably end up with some...if not, I have 6 cows that are going to calve so, the work is starting to pay off and I will reap some rewards.
As for the milk: For the first 2 days, animals produce colostrum which is VITAL to a baby's existence. Without it, they will inevitably die. The colostrum basically kick starts the stomach in lame man's terms. I milk out the colostrum and freeze it so when we have lambs or calves that need the boost, we have it at the ready. After the colostrum has run out it is just milk but is still very beneficial. The middle of the night twin I spoke of earlier got Chelsea's colostrum and then her milk until he could be put on Chelsea.
Bum lambs DIE, it is their main goal in life to die. They never do very well on milk replacer as anyone with sheep knows. They also don't do very well on straight cow milk, but they THRIVE on a half and half mixture of the two. When you are a rancher, every death is a loss, not only financially but emotionally, and not the boo-hoo cry because a baby died way, in the way that you try so hard to save things and give quality of life. All of the work with the milking twice a day pays off when all of your bum lambs are alive when you are ready to take lambs to market.
I get up at 5:30 every morning and get the cows in and milk, I then srain the milk and freeze it and wash buckets and strainers and equipment. I then shower, go to work all day, come home, change into grungy clothes and do it all again but they pay off is fantastic.
Ranching life isn't glamorous- most of the time I smell like poop and am usually covered in some form of goo. Sometimes I run on very little sleep, and miss out on things but the rewards are really like none other.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
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